On wednesday Josh and I went to hear our baby's heartbeat and he made a video of the whole thing. It was so crazy/amazing. I couldn't believe there was an actual heartbeat inside of ME?! Pregnancy is definitely an amazing thing and I feel so blessed to experience it! After we heard the heartbeat I couldn't stop listening to it on the video and crying, I just felt so overwhelmed with a love that I couldn't describe. It almost felt perfect, like I felt like the baby could do no wrong in my eyes no matter what. Now, I know this is not true because I'm sure when I have a child I will feel many types of human emotions through out its life and in my own, but I felt like for a little bit I got just a little glimpse of what the Lord feels about me...about every single person. What an intense overwhelming love? and He feels that all the time no matter what? Needless to say, I'm in love with the Lord, my husband, and my child in such a major way and it feels awesome. I already cant wait to see and meet her or him. I got 6 months left, I think I can handle it.
here's the video, you can tell in the beginning I was nervous
because I thought she couldn't find the heartbeat :) haha
On a side note: This whole pregnancy I have been thinking I am having a girl. I am not quite sure why? I want boys and girls! In fact, I honestly want 2 girls and 2 boys if I could pick it exactly how I think I want it. I have just had a feeling that it is a girl since the beginning and so has everyone else. There have been 5 people that have said they thought it was a boy but every other single person says girl...is this true or not? I don't know and honestly I do not care what I have first. I am just SO curious!
About 4 weeks ago I had a dream about my daughter, whether she comes first, second, third, or fourth it doesn't matter but I do believe it was her :) she had really blue eyes, freckles (which I secretly prayed for:) and brown STRAIGHT hair!? when I woke up I was like what? I always thought she'd have curly hair like me and Josh? About 15 minutes ago my mom called me and said "I had a dream about my grand daughter! she had blue eyes and brown straight hair!" haha :) this all made me laugh. We can't plan things the way we think they should be or assume things and believe them so much that we are shocked when OUR ideas don't look the way we think they would. The Lord is going to do things how he wants and sees them to be best. I trust in Him and I want my baby to be exactly how He wants it to be :) everything is going to work out the way it is supposed to be and I am just along for the journey.