breathing in love

Every night at 11:30 pm I wake up Ellie to feed her for the last time before we all go to bed for the night. It's usually one of the most special times I have with her in the day. She's so peaceful, trusting, quiet, cuddly, and pretty much perfect. Often times during this time with her I get so overwhelmed with love for her that it brings me to tears. It wasn't until this experience of being a mother that I feel like I have the smallest glimpse of the Lords love for me, for us. It just rushes over me so strong I can't even describe it. As cheesy as it sounds, it literally feels like a wave crashing over me, a rush through my whole body, like someone just came up to me and hugged me so hard tears pour out of my eyes. I just sit on the bed and hold her, soak her in. I feel like while I am doing this the Lord is holding me, soaking me in while I just rest in his presence and love my daughter. I feel like its just the 3 of us, soaking, resting, loving, being. It's almost like a healing thing. If I love Ellie this much, and it changes me THIS MUCH, how would I be if I truly understood the Lords love for me? How would we all be if we TRULY understood and walked in the love the Lord has for us? I don't know. I am still learning to be with Him and feel His love for me. I am still choosing to let down my walls and let myself breathe in unending love. Some of you may have already had this revelation whether you are parents or not, but let me tell you, this revelation is a choice for me every day, and almost every night when I hold Ellie at 11:30 pm I am reminded of it.

snow baby

getting ready for snow!

 I am so excited about taking ellie to PA for thanksgiving! Taking my daughter to my home town makes going home to see family even more exciting! She has not met any of her niece and nephews on my side of the family and I cannot wait for them to meet her!!! She also hasn't met her uncle wes, josh or vish, her aunt laura, or her great grand parents. Not to mention any other relative of mine, except for her great aunt! Needless to say, going home has never felt like more of a big deal than it does this time :) I'm not looking forward to the car ride though....

55 days of motherhood

Ellie will be 8 weeks on monday, I have been a mom for 55 days. 55
days of change. 55 days of the greatest joys and challenges I have ever known. 55 days that have already changed my heart in more ways than I could have ever imagined. 55 days that are only the beginning to the rest of my new life. For this I am grateful. For her I am grateful.
She changes so much every single week. If I don't pay attention I could miss the little things, like the first time she spotted her hands, the day she discovered her tongue and has been drooling more ever since, they day she looked me in the eyes and smiled, the first time she cooed, the list could go on and it will. For this I am also grateful.
I am reading a book called 1000 gifts. I think everyone should read it. I want to be thankful for what I have. I want my life to be changed by thanksgiving. November is a great month to start.


Here are some captured moments of the greatest gift I have ever received, my daughter, Elloise.

She's here! (5 weeks ago)

Elloise Marie Baldwin was born on September 12th 2011 at 5:34 pm


She was 7lbs 5oz and 20 inches long with a head full of hair

her first photo by daddy :)

2 days old

first time in her nursery

she LOVES her daddy

me and my baby girl, 1 day old

Ellies 5 week post coming soon! Maybe I'll even tell her birth story :)

nesting

 Most of the 2nd half of my pregnancy has involved me "nesting." Elloise's  nursery has been so much fun to do but for the longest time I had nothing else to do with it and I kind of hit a rut so the rest of the house reaped the benefits of me wanting to "nest." I love projects, I love decorating, and I love doing it with things I have made myself or found at antique stores.

For some reason our room has been the last place to get decorated, I guess its because company doesn't go in there so all the "good ideas" I have wouldn't be seen :) haha. Decorating is way more fun when it creates a pretty atmosphere for you AND others to enjoy. I saw this idea on pinterest, it can be done with fabric and is most commonly used in a nursery, but when I saw it with lace in a foyer I fell in love! I LOVE lace more than anything and I knew it would be the perfect thing to go in our bedroom. I got the embroidery hoops from Michaels all for under $2 each, and the lace from Hancock fabrics. Most of it was scraps that I had from previous sewing projects.

I may eventually add more or rearrange them. I'm not sure. These were really tricky to hang and place.

Here is my mirror wall, I got the idea from anthropologie's website awhile back. I did this in the beginning of my pregnancy. My friend Mary Ellen helped me find mirrors and her husband helped us put it up on the wall! All the mirrors came from 3 different antique stores. It's so hard to find these guys affordable, so often they are way over priced! Needless to say, it was a tough search.

My most recent project has been my favorite :) I have been wanting to do a plate wall for about a year now and I just never really got around to it. I started collecting a few assorted plates but a few months after I had them and looked at them I didn't like them anymore. This last month has felt like a lot of waiting and I needed another way to "nest" because the nursery was done, so thankfully I got motivated to do my plate wall! I have the perfect place for it and I LOVE it. My friend Alysa Volk (who should have a blog) helped me put it up. It was so precise I would have gone insane trying to do it by myself! I got the plates from sleepy poet for $2 each, steal of a deal!

40 weeks + a finished nursery

I am 40 weeks pregnant, woohoo! Today at my appt I was 2cm dilated. At this point, any progress is good progress. I am thinking my little sweet pea may decide to join us next week and I am okay with that. Of course I'd love for her to come this weekend for many reasons I won't go into, but if she is wanting to wait and I am healthy (which I am) I'm ok with waiting....a little... haha :)

I showed most of you Ellie's nursery a while back but it wasn't fully finished. I think I am completely done for the most part now! I didn't add much more other than a shelf and I did some cleaning and re organizing which made everything feel better. Here are some pictures of her room:

The shelf is the newest addition: I just need to add some dried flowers to the vase. In the frame is a vintage sound of music record cover I found at a thrift store <3

here I just need to fix the changing pad cover: I'm waiting on mom to fix it because I'm so frustrated with it!

Burp Cloths

Well, I am 16 days from my due date - who knows when she will decide to join us though...
hopefully sooner rather than later :) I guess you could say I am still trying to find ways to channel my "nesting" energy. I needed more burp cloths and the plain white ones seemed too thin and boring so I decided to add some color to them by getting some of my fabric scraps and sewing a patterned side to them. It was so easy and fun!

two L's

Elloise Marie Baldwin will be joining us soon, and lately, I cannot stop thinking about her even more than before (which I didn't think was possible). I keep wondering what she will look like and be like. How is her little voice going to sound when she starts talking? What will her favorite things be? I cannot wait to get to know her personality and her heart.
Elloise is not the only way to spell her name, it is most commonly spelled Eloise. It was kind of a hard decision to figure out how to spell it, we both really kind of lean towards calling her Ellie which is why I liked spelling it with 2 L's. It just seemed right - all you have to do is take out the o and the s  :)

The other 2 cool things about her name Elloise is both Josh and I loved that name for a girl before we ever met each other and got married, I think that is so sweet because it is not a common name at all. Also, Elloise and her nickname Ellie both have such awesome and multiple name meanings. Here is what I found:

Elloise

meaning: intelligent, smart, famous in war, noble, exalted, sun ray, shining light, and most beautiful woman.

When we looked up the meaning of her name I knew it fit her, I can see all of these things in her and I haven't even met her yet. I have a poster in her room that says, "you are my sunshine." how fitting for someone who's name also means sun ray and shining light?
The most common meaning that is on almost every website is "famous in war." She is going to be such a strong woman, I just know it!!

The reason for her middle name being Marie is because that's my middle name :) I never knew what my middle name meant and I never EVER thought I would give my middle name to my daughter but for some reason (which I mention below) I just felt like I should - sounds kind of weird but I thought it would be special. We were struggling with finding a middle name that we thought fit well with Elloise. One night we were praying about it and I saw the word Star - I thought - what? star? that sounds kinda sleazy.... so we looked up names that meant star and on the list was Marie meaning "star of the sea (which is not sleazy)." Josh had been wanting her middle name to be Marie so when we looked up the names that meant star and saw Marie I knew it was confirmation :)
The only thing is - Marie means bitterness in Hebrew which I just discovered today...... not cool - BUT in Latin it means Star of the Sea so that's the one we will take as far as name meanings go :)

Ellie's Lovie

Lately I have been really excited about going into labor and seeing my baby girl after its all said and done. Although I have been really tired, I still feel the need to "nest". The only problem with that is my nursery is finished, her clothes are washed and put in the drawers, and I feel like there's not much else I can do except for read and I haven't been feeling like reading..... I was really into it awhile back and started 3 books and loved them and then the desire to read left me and I am having to choose to pick it back up. Maybe next week? :)

Anyways, I have been wanting Ellie to have a little security blanket like her cousin Will because I think it is SO cute! He has had his since he was a newborn and he still carries it around today at 13+ months. It's a comfort for him and I wanted Ellie to have a little comfort blanket :)
Here's Will with his lovie:

Yesterday I went to the store and picked out a silky fabric and a soft flannel fabric to make Ellie's blanket, I wasnt really sure how to go about making it but I just decided to go for it and try. I bought enough fabric to make 2 so I could have a back up in case hers got lost or ruined, so far I have only made one. I LOVE it! I still need to wash it so it can get soft and not be so wrinkly but I couldn't wait to show it off so here it is :)

It is 14X16 (not sure why I didn't just make it square?)

baby girls

I am 35 weeks pregnant :) only 5 weeks to go (hopefully)! I know my ultrasound pictures were so great but I still cant stop wondering what she will look like, especially as a toddler! I know everyone always says the time goes by so fast and I don't want to rush it but its still fun to think about it :)

ellie's nursery part 1

I finally have a little sneak peak into Ellie's nursery for you guys! My sister took these pictures with a fisheye lens so you could see the whole room from every angle. I still have some details to do so I will do another post with them and tell you where I got things. As you can see, on the large dresser under the mirrors I don't have my changing pad set up yet, and I still have yet to fill the scale with diapers and creams instead of a that cutie owl...ect. So anyways, I hope you enjoy what you see! I am excited to do a post with all the details and stuff so I will try to get on that asap :) Her nursery is my favorite place to be in the house :) I cant wait to rock her on the rocking chair and read to her...

baby weekend

This past weekend was crazy busy! My whole family came into town to have a baby shower for me on sunday July 12th at my house. It was a PACKED, hardly everyone fit but it was so nice to be so close with everyone :) My sister also took pictures of my nursery, I will post them later this week :)

My mom made most all of the delicious food except for the cupcakes by Sarah Williams, and some other items from Amelies.

 

moms jalapeno quiche was my FAV

Laura (preggo sister in law), me, and sherah (preggo sister)

we had to completely rearrange our house to fit everyone

I got so many wonderful gifts!

some of my lovely mama friends!

allie and cora :)

my lovely sister, friends, and long time roommates

Jess keeping these girls happy with bracelets

sweet ava

I cant believe we didn't get a picture of my mom and my sister selena! They did so much to help with the shower and they also came all the way from pa just to be with me. Love you guys :)

my mama and sister selena :)